Maybe if I am already there in my head, it will really happen?

I want this job in California so badly! Last night I stayed awake until 3 my brain going crazy with thoughts of finding a new place, possibly getting a car, what preparations should I make.  I should probably start packing up my house… This then prompted me to get up from my bed at 12 and start making a packing plan. Until I had to remind myself that I have not gotten the job and who knows if I will ( I DO, I KNOW). Now I must back peddle so I don’t set myself up in case I don’t get the job… FUCK MY BRAIN!